Sunday, September 18, 2011

I'll only rant about this once.....

Sometimes I like to check my blog stats and see where the traffic to my blog comes from.  I never know who is reading it, and I think it's fun to see all the different places and people that have at least stopped by once or twice to see what I have to say.  Unfortunately I get to see a few places that link to my blog that I wish I never saw.

I don't take being not liked very well.  I understand that not everyone in the world will get along, personalities sometimes don't mesh, and it happens.  That still doesn't mean that I like to find out that people don't like me.  I go out of my way to be nice to everyone I meet, because that's just the person I am.  I wasn't always like that, but when I left high school I grew up.  If someone meets me, I'm nice to them, and still there's something about me they don't like, that's fine.  I hardly like everyone I meet.  I just wish people would actually MEET and/or talk to me before they publicly pass judgement on me and my life.

I didn't start this blog to pretend to be something I'm not.  I simply like to write things down so I will always remember them.  I also kept getting some of the same questions over and over from people and thought putting the answers down would help them to see how I feel/deal with things.  I also have a lot of friends all over the world, and this is an easy way for them to see what I'm up to when we can't connect in other ways because of our vastly different schedules.

If you meet me in person and you know nothing about me and ask me what my fiance does for a living I will do all that I can to avoid telling you what he does.  It's not because I'm ashamed or anything like that, but I want to be judged on who I am as a person rather than on Mike's profession.  I realize that this may seem strange when I don't hide it on twitter or on this blog, but does a salesperson really need to know that my fiance plays hockey when I'll likely spend 4 minutes of my life talking to her?  No, she doesn't.  If it ever gets to a point where I can't avoid telling the person what he does any longer, than I'll tell them.

I don't ever pretend to be something I'm not, and I don't pretend Mike is something he's not.  I'm not afraid to tell people the different levels Mike has played, and where he's spent the majority of his time.  When someone asks what team he plays for my response is always "for the (insert current NHL parent team)'s organization for their AAA affiliate in (insert current city)".  Is that incorrect information?  No, not at all.  When he was in the Coast, I just told them the team, because he wasn't with an NHL organization then.  I never acted like he was somewhere he wasn't.  It's actually a huge pet peeve of mine to hear people claim to be with/play for a team they really don't.

Ever see a "coach" claiming to have AHL/NHL experience wanting to work with your child but you don't recognize their name?  Go to hockeydb.com, it doesn't lie.  You can find out what exactly their experience is.  There are people out there claiming to have that kind of experience because they simply attended a pre-season camp for 3 days once in their careers.  I guess technically they did, but they're advertising like they did something more.  Why lie?  Just be honest.  We ALWAYS are.  If the NHL comes up, I make sure to say he spent x amount of days on a call up due to injury.

To claim that both/either of us is delusional or weird because he's not an NHL regular over the past 10 seasons isn't fair.  That doesn't mean that our experiences are any less valid.  Nor does it mean that the experiences of other wives/guys don't matter because they aren't regulars either.  Our lives are real.  Our stresses are real.  Our feelings are real.  I could care less what level Mike is playing at, I will be just as nervous watching him play an NHL game as I was at a college game, and as I would an AHL game, ECHL game, etc.  The level doesn't affect my feelings or make them less real.  I just want him to be the best he can wherever he is.  That just means I love him.

If my wedding planning posts, triple berry crisp recipe post, 2 favorite songs post, etc. offended anyone because I don't have status, I apologize.  If you don't like me or my blog, that's fine.  No one is making you read it.  To go out and call us names when you've never once interacted with either of us is rude, mean, and unnecessary.  Unless you've talked to me about it, you have no idea what I'm thinking, how I'm feeling, or what I believe.  I don't think I'm better than people because I date a goalie, I was just simply explaining my feelings and experiences I've had in MY life.  And if someone thinks I'm weird for having a blog, then that's their prerogative.  Why go out and publicly say that to others?  It's mean, and hurtful.

People will tell me to get thicker skin, to ignore it, but come on.  How do you not get your feelings hurt when you see/hear someone say something mean about you or the person you love?  I am a human being.  I just want to ask people to do one thing: if there is something you read here or hear someplace that I've said that you don't like just come to me about it.  I'd be more than happy to explain my opinions/feelings.  I just write what comes, and I don't go back and edit my feelings, which can sometimes lead me into trouble.  Things don't always come out the way I meant them and I'd rather clear it up than be attacked by someone who misunderstood.  I may hate confrontation, but I'll always be willing to discuss things.  Sometimes I'll clear things up, other times I'll apologize because maybe I was being rude and didn't realize it until after.

This is the one and only time I'll write a post like this.  I think this one time struck a nerve because it wasn't just me the person said something hurtful about.  You go after me, I'll be hurt.  You go after the people I love, I get angry.  I won't say who said it, although I'm sure some will figure it out.  I won't attack or name call them, because that's just not who I am.  I'm sure this person has their reasons for disliking us, whatever they are.  I just wish they hadn't had to say what they did so publicly without bothering to discuss their issues with us beforehand.  End rant.

Wait, one more thing.  Another major pet peeve?  Irresponsible journalism/blogging.  When did it become okay to not check with sources before printing something as fact?  Wouldn't you want to only print the truth (if you're not running a tabloid anyway)?  Don't always believe what you read if there are no quotes from the actual source/sources, or even an anonymous one (although obviously those aren't always true either).  Now end rant, haha.

15 comments:

  1. Haters gonna hate... ignore them. Life is too short to waste on losers like that. Have any of them suited up for an NHL team? Doubt it. Do your own thing and be at peace with it.

    And of course... GO SENS GO!!!

    -shabbs

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  2. Very well said! Love your blog, keep your chin up and your fingers typing. I'm a fan :)

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  3. Some people make me wonder where they were when their parents were trying to teach them manners. If even if they got any teaching. I'm sorry that people are stupid are do things that would be easy to check. I'm NOT sorry that I have your back, even if you don't need to have it. Ignore the hate and focus on the positives in your lives. ECHL, AHL, NHL.... who cares where he play,s it's that he plays and loves it and YOU that matter.

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  4. I don't know you personally and I've never met you - and I don't know if this will make you feel better - but I love your blog and it has made me judge you, but in a good way. When I read things that make me laugh it makes me think that I would totally want to hang out with someone like you!

    Keep doing what you're doing! When I first started my blog it was all for me, then I started worrying when I would write about topics that might hurt/upset someone. Now, I just write about what I want to write about. I don't get a lot of traffic and if people don't like it, they don't have to come. Luckily, I've never received any hateful messages or anything - I hope they stop for you!

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  5. I dont know you personally nor have I ever met you but you seem like my kinda girl! I love how you just let it all out in the open! I'm definitely a fan of your blog and I love reading everything, I think it's cool that, in a way, you let people see how you live. Keep up what your doing! :)

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  6. I know the blogger and blog you are talking about and can't see any rude comments unless you count saying he isn't going to make the team no matter what his tweets say as rude. If so then you do need to get thicker skin as that is just reality unless their is an injury. I have no doubt you and your husband are awesome people and that is just his job and not who he is but at the same time a blogger about a sports team saying that is not exactly rude or mean. If I say I am going to run IBM next year and a tech blog says this guy has no chance of doing that it is reality not even close to mean.

    Also on behalf of my wife mostly hope your wedding plans go well and that you guys have a safe year and no injuries during the season.

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  7. Augghhh. Unfortunately I know all too well about this kind of thing. Especially since I broke up with my fiance who plays hockey for a living. I really reached out to other hockey wives/gfs, because they were the only ones who really knew what I was going through. Everything you said is so true though- would these ppl who are saying these nasty things still say them after meeting you? Most likely they wouldn't. Ppl will tell you to have tougher skin, but that only comes after years of putting up with crap like this, unfortunately. You have your man though, I know you'll be ok!!!

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  8. All I will say is that it had nothing to do with saying Mike wouldn't make the team. I'd never get upset over something like that. It was something said about me.

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  9. I wish I knew who this "blogger" was, he'd get a nice piece of my mind. Rachel you are wonderful and sweet. People just suck sometimes.

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  10. Luv your blog. Ignore him. Karma is a b.

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  11. Huge hockey fan here, from Hershey, PA. Love your insights! Ignore the jealousy, because I'm sure that's where the nastiness came from. Maybe we'll get to see your man in goal against our Bears this season, if he doesn't get an NHL gig! Go Hockey, and keep on blogging, girl!

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  12. Also, just want to add one more thing.....the comments made about me/us were taken down so if you look now, you won't see what happened.

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  13. Beautifully written.

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  14. Hi, I don't know what was said about you or Mike. I just wanted to tell you that my son thinks that Mike is the greatest. He met him a few times over the last couple of years, along with many other players. But from the first time he met Mike he told me " that's my favorite player in all of hockey" and he has felt that way ever since, even though we are season ticket holders of a different team. The team we follow won't be playing Mike's team this year so my son is a little sad. He brings a Mike McKenna's #1 fan sign to every game he sees him play. And saved all of his birthday and Christmas money to get a Mckenna game worn NJ Devils jersey. Hanging in his room with his Mckenna game used stick. Mike is the best !!!!

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  15. Mike's backing up Lehner tonight in Montreal. GO SENS GO!!!

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