Monday, October 24, 2011

Halloween Costume Rant

Let me start off by saying that I LOVE Halloween.  It's right up there on the list of my favorite days of the year behind my birthday, Christmas, and the upcoming wedding day.  I just love dressing up and getting to be someone else for a few hours.  And I'll also take just about any excuse for a party, haha.  There is just one problem.....the costumes.

I've had this conversation with numerous people numerous times in the last week.  When did Halloween become a holiday that was only meant for people that are a size 2 and have no body issues?  It's ridiculous how difficult it is to find a costume being sold in stores for female adults that isn't completely slutty, showing off all of your business for the world to see.

Three years ago I ordered a costume that I never wore because my ass was hanging out.  Literally.  Two years ago I bought a costume that I had to wear leggings under so that I could walk without flashing everyone.  I've bought costumes in sizes way above what I wear and then pin them in the back to make them fit, just so that the skirt portion will cover me.  This year I managed to find a costume that covered me, but sitting and bending over to pick anything up were not options.  There was no room for error, and if it had been windy outside, I was in trouble.

You also can't even get an authentic costume anymore.  So what do you want to be?  A Disney Princess?  Sure, we got that.  Let's just hem the skirt until your butt shows, lower the neckline until you need double sided tape to keep your boobs from popping out, and a corset style back that won't completely close, no matter how tiny you are.  Wait, you mean to tell me that Belle's dress actually reached the floor?  She only had subtle cleavage?  There was no corset?!

Look, I understand the need for sexy/slutty (depending on how far you want to go) Halloween costumes.  I see nothing wrong with the fact that they exist.  I've chosen costumes for that very reason, because that was the vibe I wanted that year.  What I don't like, is that in order to find costumes that aren't sexy/slutty, you need to search, sometimes for long periods of time, on the internet.  Then you need to order them and hope that they'll get there in time, and they'll actually fit.  You shouldn't have to plan a costume so far in advance that you have time to return something via mail that you ordered and still be able to get Plan B in time for the party.

For example, I was Dorothy from the Wizard of Oz for the team Halloween party this year.  I wanted to look authentically Dorothy.  You know, high neck, dress below my knees, socks under my shoes, sleeves that went to my elbows.  Mike was the Tin Man, and he looked exactly like the Tin Man, down to the button details and the bow tie.  If he was going to look authentic, then so was I.  Problem was, we didn't decide what to be until a week before the party, so I had to buy my costume at a store, and couldn't order the most authentic one I could find off the internet.  I also can't sew, so making my own was not an option.  I ended up with a costume that vaguely resembled the dress Dorothy wore.  If I hadn't walked in with Mike and been wearing sparkly red shoes (yes, I clicked my heels together multiple times), my drindl style neckline, and too short to move much dress with puffy sleeves and an apron may have been misconstrued as something else.

You also better not have any body issues whatsoever if you buy a costume from the store.  You're not going to hide much, and there's just no way around it.  Don't like your legs?  You better be able to put a pair of leggings underneath the skirt.  Not a fan of your cleavage hanging out?  Maybe you should just make your own costume.  Don't like to show off your midsection?  Maybe you should just put a sheet over your body and be a ghost.

Bottom line is that there should be a variety of costumes for women in stores.  Not everyone has the ability to make their own costumes and they have to buy them.  Not everyone has the confidence to do sexy/slutty and they should be able to find costumes that fit and look good when they walk into a Halloween store.  Sometimes it's just not appropriate to wear something sexy/slutty.  What happened to options?

And on a related note, why can't costumes that you buy in the store be true to size?  I'm baffled that a costume labeled for sizes 6-10 wouldn't even go over my hips.  Now I realize I'm not supermodel thin, but come on.  Within the last few weeks I had to find out the right size I needed for my wedding dress, so I know what my measurements are.  There's no way that should have happened.  I was actually worried about it being too big.  I also can't get over that the costume that did end up fitting me perfectly in the waist and hips was way too big in the chest.  I spent the whole night pulling it up so my bra wasn't hanging out.  There was nothing proportional about that costume.  Figure it out, costume companies!

On a side note, I'm almost positive that Mike and I know what we'll be for Halloween for the next two years.  The only issue is going to be which one we'll be next year, and which one we'll be the year after.  I hope you all enjoy your costume rental/making/purchase and have a Happy Halloween!


  1. The thing about the slutty costumes is even the ones for little kids look slutty!

    Also I have taken my little cousin in the Halloween store before (NOT for adults...a store for all ages) and had to cover her eyes like blinders on a horse while walking through the store! The adult costumes were so trashy I didn't want to explain them to her.

    I have had my trashy moments of course. But I don't always want things popping out of my costume! And if you are a larger size it's that much harder. I do homemade costumes all the way unless I need a wig or something.i.e. I made my OWN catholic schoolgirl skirt for my roller derby costume! And I adjusted the length of the skirt depending on what kind of part I was at! Ok I had to wear it like Urkel to make it shorter but it worked. :-)

  2. I totally agree! When i was looking for my Dorothy costume a few years back I had trouble. I'm not a small girl what so ever, so finding a Dorothy costume that would fit and not make me look like a two cent hooker was tough. I eventually found it online and it was an authentic one. The puffy sleeves, the neckline up to my chin and the skirt that came about to my knees. It wasn't bad. I bought the ribbon for my pig tails and a basket for toto. Haha yes I went all out. The only ruby red shoes I could find were the slutty heel ones. I could barely walk around work in them and they turned my socks pink! I eventually put black shoes on, but it just always seems the fun old time costumes have now been made out to be raunchy ones. If i have to pull up my top to cover my girls or pull the skirt done so no one sees my lady bits then I won't have fun. It defeats the purpose. You both looked great! The tin man has always Been my favorite. Sorry for the long rant :)

  3. I love your Halloween costume! Which Halloween costume store did you buy it? I'm planning to wear that costume for this year's Halloween.

    1. I bought it at a temporary Halloween store in Binghamton, NY. No idea what it was called, haha. It seemed like a pretty generic costume though, like you could find it at just about any Halloween store you went to, or online somewhere. Or at least something really close.